Park Slope Restaurants That Suck?

Brace yourself for an extraordinary amount of hating on restaurants, old and new, in the Park Slope Message Boards.

Not even Aunt Suzie’s can escape the wrath: ” I would not recommend Aunt Suzies…” and: “I would never recommend Aunt Suzie’s, let alone for a special dinner…” and: ” I would also say a big no to Aunt Suzie…” and: “Aunt Suzie’s reminds me of the successful but soulless restaurant in ‘Big Night’… Almost anyone I know, and most pizza parlors, can make better red sauce…” and: “Plenty of folks love it because it’s cheap, and they don’t know what Italian food can taste like…” and: “Aunt Suzie’s is disgusting. Fun, family kind of place, but truly gross food… like ketchup on pasta.

With picky people like these, why would anyone even bother to open a restaurant in Park Slope that’s less than excellent? Well, that may be exactly what has happened–twice–on a certain streetcorner:

I’ve been intrigued by the dueling new restaurants on 7th and 3rd: Sette and Miracle Grill… We got the perfect outdoor table on the perfect balmy summer evening (at Settee) and then were promptly disappointed by truly mediocre food…

And this: “I had brunch at Miracle Grill a few weeks ago – it was terrible. I had Huevos Rancheros, which was a poached egg on a tortilla, with a small bit of salsa. No beans, no cheese, no sour cream. It sucked…

And on and on:

Sette on 7th: Ick [Park Slope Message Boards]
Special Occasion Dinner (Aunt Suzie’s?) [Park Slope Message Boards]

24 Replies to “Park Slope Restaurants That Suck?”

  1. Lobo is TERRIBLE. The descriptions on the menu do not match the food in any way. Everything is bland and nondescript. I’d even rather eat at Mezcal’s.

    There are few places in the Slope I’d never go back to, but Lobo sits high at the top of that list.

    Aunt Suzie’s is very good for what it is. No need to knock.

    Miracle Grill deserves all the misery it gets just for taking down the awesome mural that was previously there when Cucina Cuzco was in its space.

    Great site.

  2. Pingback:
  3. Lobos SUCKS!!!

    I was lured in by the promise of fishbowl sized Dos Equis drafts.

    The beer was flat, the conqueso lukewarm and the food execrable.

    Sette also SUCKS!!

    My wife and I stopped by during their first week of business check it out. It was around 10:45 pm and there were at least 6 tables lingering over their desserts.

    When we walked in the door, a waitron yelled “kitchen is closed!” We asked whether we might just enjoy a glass of wine. She said that they were closing in thirty minutes, so NO.

    Great strategy for building a buzz about a place that you would assume would want people to linger and buy ridiculously marked up wine by the glass.


    The Park Slope Ale House food doesn’t live up to it’s promise or price. It’s not bad, but I’d rather eat the no frills burgers at The Lighthouse. They also have MUCH better service.

    I can just feel the hate…

  4. Yes Lobos totally sucks! Haven’t been to Suzies. And Sette was quite sucky as well. The one thing I am having a problem with a lot of the newer slope restaurants (especially the more upscale types) is that they are just about everything but the food.
    I ate at the beautiful black pearl the other day and everything was wonderful except one detail, the food…completely mediocre at best.
    Its funny one of my fav restaurants is LaVilla where everything sucks except the Food which is amazing. And I’d rather go somewhere like that where the food is good then somewhere with a great atmosphere and bad food.

    Other sucky places:
    Daisy’s Diner for anything but breakfast.
    Me Kong (prob the worst!)
    Lam Garden
    so many but will stop there.

    My ultimate favorite:
    Cocco Rocco!

  5. I do not think Beet is suck. Food is quality. Fair Price. Nice presentation and nice waitstaff. I pass by everyday in the evening. Beet is always crowded.

  6. I do not think Beet is suck, either. I have tried several thai restuarants in park slope, and I found that BEET THAI restaurant is the BEST. Their tasty food makes me hungry at all time. They have great services and friendly wait staff. I love the decor; it brings its’ brightness to the customers. BEET THAI is definitely a ROMANTIC restuarant to dine in w/ friends and family. FAIR PRICES!!!

  7. Beet is the best Thai. First time I went, I just tried the basic Thai dish, green curry, wow it was the best green curry I ever had. Second time I tried off course Pad Thai off the lunch menu, it started to convince me this might be the best Thai place on 7th. Third time I thought I should give it a try the unusual dish in Thai place, the Soft Shell crab in Thai herb sauce, I just found my new favourite dish, and totally convinced me the fav. Thai place. I definitely will come back for this dish and try out the new dishes.

  8. Park Slope restaurant that sucks? Sotto Vocce in my opinion. Gone waaaaay downhill since it opened, the last two meals I had there were outright poor. I know, I shouldn’t have gone back, but I used to like the place and I figured the first was a fluke. Guess not. But hey, the joint is always full so what do I know?

  9. To hell with all of you gentrifyin’, square glass wearin’, antique collectin’, baby bearin’, inside tradin’, brie eatin’, brownstone buyin’, nanny hirin’, stroller pushin’, money hoardin’ sons of bitches!!

  10. Pizza Plus is friggin AWFUL! The pizza is ok, but I can’t figure out why people order any of their dishes. They’re really awful and the staff can be quite rude.

    I live down the street from Beet and eat there regularly. The service can be a bit slow, but is not bad. I always order for pickup and it’s extremely fast, tasty, and inexpensive.

  11. Mezcal’s is AWFUL. Sotto Voce is HEINOUS. The first month Sotto was open, it was good. Park Slope still suffers from some of the worst restaurants imaginable: New Purity, Rice, Tofu on 7th, etc.

  12. I walked past a little Northern Italian retaurant on a side street off
    Prospect Park on the gold coast. It has real Tuscan steak on the menu. Does anyone know what it is called. ?

  13. Lobo stands for we Left Our Barf Outside! I still have intestinal difficulties since eating there.

  14. Agreed that the servers at La Villa seem annoyed but the food is really, really good.

  15. Went to Scordaditto’s for a special occasion price fixe and the bill was like 175.00. Since we were on a date, my date wasn’t going to ask at the door, “Oh, how much is it…” so we just went for it. Anyway, the meal was for those on the anorexic diet. We call is Scammadito’s. The raw, shaved rabitt salad was frightening. Thought we were eating proscuitto. Will take La Taqueria any day. Always satisfied and Brenda and Diana are darling.

  16. LOBO is total slop. Even their coke tasted awful. No carbonation and tasted like they added cinnamon to it. Don’t eat the carnitas. It’s really icky shredded turkey (a turkey as old as Plymouth Rock). I hate birds. Barfatorium!

  17. The first time I went to lobo, we really liked it. We went again… bad. Then bad again. I have no idea why I ever went back. I should have known they had no idea how to cook when they brought out a RAW fried london broil to my friend (he ordered the chicken fried steak). Ucch…

    Also didn’t like Mezcal’s. No kick to their Margaritas. Crappy food.

    Now I go to Rachel’s Taqueria. Cheaper and 100x better.

  18. Mezcal’s 396 5th ave. terrible!!!! I saw roaches crawling across the bar while I was waiting for my drink

  19. Cocco Rocco sucks
    I ordered in a chicken from there and it was uncooked. I called to complain and they said sorry! No offer for a refund or replacement. Stay away from the place!

  20. Lobo rocks. Very authentic TexMex.

    Sette also rocks. I’ve been there from brunch three times at least and it was always delicious.

    Bogota is probably the best restaurant in The Slope.

    Sotto Voce… I vote with the “sucks” crowd on that one. Also Aunt Suzie’s.

    I miss Mekong. They had the best calamari in the whole darn city, seriously.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.