How to Piss Off a Park Slope Resident

Courtesy of the Park Slope Message Board:

10. Walk down the sidewalk, smoking a cigar.
9. Wear a “George W. Bush” t-shirt.
8. Tell them that your kid is smarter or more advanced/better dressed/eats healthier than theirs.
7. Suggest building a high-rise condo on the corner of Third Street and Seventh Avenue.
6. Suggest building a high-rise Section 8 building on the corner of Union Street and Seventh Avenue.
5. Advocate busing all PS 321 students to PS 284 in Brownsville in order to achieve economic parity in Brooklyn.
4. Go to the Tea Lounge and have a loud, profanity-laden conversation with your friends.
3. Hit somebody in the face with a kite. Bonus points if you do it more than once.
2. Laugh at them because they can’t afford Manhattan.

…and the number one way to piss off a Park Slope resident is:

[Actually, a Letterman-style drumroll prefacing a “number-one” answer that is patently ridiculous, yet somehow vaguely amusing]

1. Murder a member of their family.

Why can’t we all just get along on the Park Slope Message Board

10 Replies to “How to Piss Off a Park Slope Resident”

  1. Brilliant! just to pissed off the snobs who now are destroying park slope we should do everything on the list

  2. haha it was hilarious! great! at least someone has guts to say the truth.

    2 thumbs up!

  3. Oh, that Tea Lounge thing hit home, tho. I was in there this morning for a big bodum of weak-ass coffee, and there were so many babies in the joint it was like my lips only spoke Swearword.

    Not only that, but I was making out with my honey, and I think I saw tears in one mama’s eyes.

  4. Let’s talk about what pisses the true Brooklyn people off, you know the ones who were born and raised here. If some of you are not aware of it, it is the down right inconsideration and rudeness of the so called park slope people. There are no “thank you” or “you’re welcome”, no “excuse me”, no eye contact and certainly no hello’s. I would love to know where these people were raised that you can’t say a simple hello to your neighbor. It is sickening to know that the only reason I would ever leave Brooklyn is because of the people who have moved into the neighborhood. I have been here all my life, 32 years, and my family has been in park slope since before many even heard of it. You know when no one would dare buy a home here. Why do people, adults for that matter, have to be reminded of manners? Oh and FYI, children need to be taught also, it would be very sad if they learned their manners, or lack of, from parents who are so oblivious to the people around them. Let’s get it together, if you are going to try and be a Brooklynite then act like one.

  5. It’s a little funny. I giggled. I’ve only been here for 5 years. I have already seen many changes- and heard more from the lovely folks from the senior center on Prospect Ave.

    I think that on the whole Park Slopers are nice to each other. That’s why I like it here. And we should promote that.

  6. I just want to clarify, Prospect Avenue is considered in the Windsor Terrace area, we have not gotten to the Park Slope status and honestly I hope we neve get there if it means we will deal with the issues that Park Slope are known for. I know people love to call themselves “Park Slopers” but I think people are way too hung up on the whole stigma of living in Park Slope.
    Oh and lets be realistic, it is highly unlikely you are going to get a senior citizen holding a door open for the average “Park Sloper” and getting the same response I get time after time. Actually that is inaccurate, I don’t even get a response. I’ll just give you one of many instances, I held the door open for a worker of a store who had his hands full and had three men, three, walk right in and say nothing to me, no thank you, not even a nod, nothing. The worst part is the worker who had his hands full was never even able to exit the store before these inconsiderate people walked in, he had to wait for them to walk into the store. Pathetic! I, several of my friends and family have gotten to the point where we actually say “you are welcome” really loud just to remind people of their lack of manners, of course this is after once again you hold the door open for them and they walk in or out with no acknowledgment. Has it gotten that bad that we need to remind adults of how to be courteous and considerate. For the record I live in the Windsor Terrace area not even a block away from Prospect Park West, these issues are getting increasingly worse.

  7. Hi Born and Raised-

    I agree that rudeness has become the norm. It is unfortunate- and not central to one particular area. I hope that by communicating in a respectful manner in environments such as this, we can spread general kindness and polite behavior one experience at a time.

    Is being a Brooklynite something that makes one polite? Impolite?

    I try to say thank you when someone performs any kindness. Not so they will see how polite I am/impolite they are, but because I appreciate it.

    I also appreciate an attempt at finding humor in everyday observance. Oh – and some of the things in the list above may upset you too, or not- but still -it’s a little funny.

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