Courtesy of the Park Slope Message Board:
10. Walk down the sidewalk, smoking a cigar.
9. Wear a “George W. Bush” t-shirt.
8. Tell them that your kid is smarter or more advanced/better dressed/eats healthier than theirs.
7. Suggest building a high-rise condo on the corner of Third Street and Seventh Avenue.
6. Suggest building a high-rise Section 8 building on the corner of Union Street and Seventh Avenue.
5. Advocate busing all PS 321 students to PS 284 in Brownsville in order to achieve economic parity in Brooklyn.
4. Go to the Tea Lounge and have a loud, profanity-laden conversation with your friends.
3. Hit somebody in the face with a kite. Bonus points if you do it more than once.
2. Laugh at them because they can’t afford Manhattan.
…and the number one way to piss off a Park Slope resident is:
[Actually, a Letterman-style drumroll prefacing a “number-one” answer that is patently ridiculous, yet somehow vaguely amusing]
1. Murder a member of their family.
Why can’t we all just get along on the Park Slope Message Board