Category: Restaurants

Brace yourself for an extraordinary amount of hating on restaurants, old and new, in the Park Slope Message Boards.

Not even Aunt Suzie’s can escape the wrath: ” I would not recommend Aunt Suzies…” and: “I would never recommend Aunt Suzie’s, let alone for a special dinner…” and: ” I would also say a big no to Aunt Suzie…” and: “Aunt Suzie’s reminds me of the successful but soulless restaurant in ‘Big Night’… Almost anyone I know, and most pizza parlors, can make better red sauce…” and: “Plenty of folks love it because it’s cheap, and they don’t know what Italian food can taste like…” and: “Aunt Suzie’s is disgusting. Fun, family kind of place, but truly gross food… like ketchup on pasta.”

With picky people like these, why would anyone even bother to open a restaurant in Park Slope that’s less than excellent? Well, that may be exactly what has happened–twice–on a certain streetcorner:

“I’ve been intrigued by the dueling new restaurants on 7th and 3rd: Sette and Miracle Grill… We got the perfect outdoor table on the perfect balmy summer evening (at Settee) and then were promptly disappointed by truly mediocre food…”

And this: “I had brunch at Miracle Grill a few weeks ago – it was terrible. I had Huevos Rancheros, which was a poached egg on a tortilla, with a small bit of salsa. No beans, no cheese, no sour cream. It sucked…”

And on and on:

LINKS:
Sette on 7th: Ick [Park Slope Message Boards]
Special Occasion Dinner (Aunt Suzie’s?) [Park Slope Message Boards]

Anyone been to Borgo Antico in Greenwich Village? Owner Giovanni Iovine (pictured, with Diego) and wife Lisa LoBue are opening “Futura Bistro Modern” on 9th St. in Park Slope. Partner in the venture is Davor Petrovic. Seems like Futura will be “affordable eats” and “comfort fare” that is “strongly influenced by the duo’s Argentine and Italian heritage” matched with wines from Italy, France, Argentina and the United States. Grand Opening is Sunday, Oct. 2nd at 6 pm.

Futura Bistro Modern | 287 9th Street, Park Slope, Brooklyn, 11215. 718.832.0085.
Hours: 12:00pm-midnight daily; brunch on Saturdays and Sundays.

Discuss: Park Slope Message Boards

daniel asks in the Park Slope Message Boards: “Where’s the best pizzeria in Park Slope? I don’t mean brick-oven fancy-ass pies like at Franny’s or La Villa, but a place where you can get a good slice and a drink for $3 or $4. So far, the only place I’ve liked has been Pizza on the Park, on 3rd St right by 5th Ave – they make great a Grandma’s pizza. Every other place I’ve tried has been atrocious – sugary sweet sauces, rubbery crusts, and greasy cheese. Is there any other place worthwhile?”

Park Slope Message Board regulars sound off, and recommend: Tomato & Basil on 4th; Smiling Pizza on 7th Ave and 9th St. (“pretty good for a standard slice. It isn’t the most consistent… When it’s off it’s still acceptable”); Joe’s of Bleecker Street on 7th Ave. near Carroll; a place on the corner of 3rd Avenue and President (“FWIW, that general area of the Gowanus used to be Brooklyn’s Little Italy”); the little hole-in-the-wall next to Olive Vine on Seventh Ave. just north of Lincoln Pl. (“Oscar, the owner, used to work at the pizzeria up near Union St. …”); and many more…

HATING on the 5th Ave. pizza places: “They all generally suck hard …” “… minus the new entrants such as Pizza on the Park, … They tend to use very cheap ingredients, the places are dingy, etc.”

MORE: Best Pizza in Park Slope [Park Slope Message Boards]

pitu wrote in the Park Slope Message Boards about Schnack coming to the Brooklyn Lyceum [CitySearch] on 4th Ave. and Union St. : “the waste of space is getting Schnacks?!” Meanwhile, Jack wonders who will climb two stories’ worth of stairs for that…

…and the answer is, daveb: “I’d climb more if i had to. A five decker cheeseburger from Schnack with bacon, mushrooms, onions, Schnack sauce and habanero sauce, coupled with fries and a huge Jever is my personal happy place that i retreat to in those dark moments. It’s the only burger I eat with a knife and fork. ”

Hmm… When’s lunch?

MORE: Schnack Opening in the Lyceum [Park Slope Message Boards]

Here is a short restaurant post. Bye.

People of North Slope: What is it that unites us as a neighborhood? Our sense of community? Our desire for racial harmony and sensible development? Or the fact that we all, at one time or another, are subjected to the mighty, meaty wind emanating from El Castillo de Jagua outside of the Q station on Flatbush Avenue?

Public opinion is deeply divided on the merits of the meat vent. According to a recent poll, 32% of Prospect Heights residents find the greasy blast “disgusting” (sample quote: “I hate walking around that corner and getting a blast in the face of The Fried Wind….”). However, 27% “love it”, and another 27% “actually kind of like it.” Muk says: “Sometimes I stand directly in front of the meat fan for 10 minutes and then run around the neighborhood being chased by stray dogs… I am very lonely man.”

Muk also proposes that this meat wind should get its own proper noun: “As a nod to the cuisine and the people of El Gran Castillo, I think it should be called (drum roll)… El Carneviento – crudely translates to The Meatwind. Pronounced ‘Car-nay-bee-yen-toe’.”

USAGE: “I thought El Niño was bad until I moved to Prospect Heights and was blown down Flatbush Ave. by El Carneviento.”

If you’ve never experienced it firsthand, the thick and greasy impact of El Carneviento may be hard to imagine. But since a picture is worth a thousand whiffs, you can click the thumbnail below for a gigantic image showing the congealed grease that has accumulated over years of continuous blowing.

Carnivore comments: “That is truly a glorious sight… The combined essence of thousands of pork shoulders and chickens… It’s almost religious!”

[Click here] for a lengthy discussion of The mighty, meaty wind emanating from El Castillo de Jagua