Meanderthal writes on the Park Slope Message Board: “Just noted this posting on Overheard in New York under the title “No, Actually Just He and the Plant Are Working Together”. It goes like this:
Tourist, pointing at hobo: You stay right there. I’ll be back; you have my word.
Friend #1: What are you doing?
Tourist: I’m going to give this guy some money, but I don’t have any on me.
Hobo: Bless you.
Friends all open their wallets.
Hobo: Bless you, guys. See, we’re all working together!
–7th Ave between 8th & 9th, Park Slope
How smart are Park Slope streetworkers? Stella adds her own experience: “Two weeks ago, I found myself at the Tea Lounge again. On the way there, this man came up to us and told us that he feels bad for saying anything, because we are half his age, but then he told us he isn’t homeless but that he needs to feed his daughter. Then he started crying. How awkward is that. We handed over some dough and walked away… We figured even if he was pretending, it looked so real, he earned a few bucks for it.“
Heartless quijibo adds:
that guy tried the same shit on me a few weeks ago
i’m like “biatchhh!!!! go be a barista!”
Laura B writes on the Park Slope Message Board:
Please help me find Olive a home.
She’s an adorable 8-week-old tuxedo kitten we found in a parking lot on Bergen street. She’s everything you want a kitten to be: playful, charming, wide-eyed. She does goofy kitten things like chase a little ball around maniacally, then climb into your lap or into bed with you to catch some zzzs.
She’s been vetted, is healthy, and is up to date on her shots.
So, the Associated Press may have dubbed Brooklyn “the place to be”… Is Minnesota “the place to be from”?
There seems to be a disproportionately high number of Minnesota expats in the area, at least judging from the chatter on the Park Slope Message Board.
According to CHE, Brooklyn actutely lacks:
1. Gedney pickles
3. Cheese curds
4. $12 cases of Huber Bock
5. Vietnamese farmers selling thai basil bunches for $1
6. Isles cinnamon rolls
7. Canoe put-ins
8. Snow emergency parking
9. Food-coops with non-working memberhip
10. Cross-country ski trails
11. Punk kids on double-high bikes (hmm… Williamsburg?)
12. Abundant Ethiopian food
13. Wild rice soup
14. Radio K
17. Swimming lakes
And apparently Brooklyn is OK without:
1. Seed art
2. Real mosquitoes
3. Katherine Lanpher (hmm… isn’t she in Manhattan??)
Minnesota’s the place to be from, you betcha: Park Slope Message Board
Best Loaf – Lopez Bakery – 5th ave bet 18 th and 19th St. The bread is very good and cheap. I always get the 7 grain. They make a nice loaf, but stay away from the pastry. The bread is baked fresh every day, but the other stuff tends to be stale. Haven’t tried the tamales yet.
Bakery – Two Little Red Hens – 8th Ave. They’re expensive, but so good.
Bodega/small grocer – La Dolce Vita – 7th Ave – Clean store and nice owner, also has a good beer selection
Toy Store – Toy Space on 7th ave around 13th – Nice selection of toys, if a bit overpriced. This place has saved me on a few occasions when I had to get a quick gift for a kid. There’s also a place on 5th ave, but I can’t remember the name.
Children’s Shoes – Windsor Shoes – Prospect Park West – The staff is very helpful and they have a good selection.
Pizza – Pino’s La Forchetta – 7th Ave – classic pizza joint
Coffee Shop – 6th ave and 12th St – Red Horse Cafe – good coffee and not crowded
Sandwich shop – Pollios – 5th Ave – Good hoagies and specialty foods. It has a nice, neighborhood feel.
More lists in the Park Slope Message Boards
We just received this Onion-esque parody of “SmartMom”, the Park Slope blogger-turned-Brooklyn Papers columnist:
“SmartMom” tells some interesting stories, and she’s done some great things for the blogging community in Park Slope… but she has a writing style that some people cannot read without physically cringing, judging from opinions on the Park Slope message board:
From SlipperySlope: “SlipperySlope does not like Smartmom. SlipperySlope does not understand why Smartmom feels the need to write in the 3rd person. SlipperySlope wants to know if Smartmom is married to ‘Jimmy’ from Seinfeld.”
From Rose: “I don’t know why I feel compelled to read her blog; it is so consistently irritating. It’s just the same damn thing over and over: She lives on 3rd Street. She is jealous of people with money. Her kids went to 321. She knows everyone in Park Slope. She is jealous of Jennifer Connelly because she has a big expensive house. She is jealous of Jonathan Safran Foer because he has a big expensive house. Did I mention that she lives on 3rd Street?”
From Drano: “If you read the column strictly as a parody of the stereotypical self-absorbed, over-educated Park Slope denizen it’s brilliant stuff. And I do feel that there’s at least a slight chance that the joke is on all of us.”
In SmartMom’s defense, the venerable Gersh Kuntzman (now editor of the Brooklyn Papers) posted this on the message board: “… she is an acquired taste that I urge you to acquire. She is a rare Brooklyn talent and I am so happy to be in the position of nurturing that talent (others would prefer to resent her, I guess).”
The author of DumbWhore says, “I just did made paper copies to scatter around the neighborhood. I had to do something. I couldn’t just do nothing.” We’re not supposed to divulge the author’s identity… but we can say that the resemblance to columns in The Onion is not coincidental.
more-eggs-please writes in the Park Slope Message Boards:
“I was walking my dog along Berkeley Pl betwen 6th and 7th last night around 11 pm and came across the following ridiculous typed note taped to a bicycle seat. The bike was locked to a street cleaning sign next to the street:”
” ‘Please chain your bike to a different location,’ the note read in 18-point Times New Roman. ‘We’ve checked and we are liable if anyone trips over your biked and falls on our property. Thank you for your understanding.’ ”
“Is it just me or is this totally absurd? First of all, the bike was in no way obstructing anyone’s passage on the sidewalk in front of the two buildings it was straddling (which begs the question: whose property is this bike on, anyway?)”
“I was tempted to throw myself over the bike and scream for help and threaten to sue the owners of the building(s) since I felt they deserved such an inconvenient consequence for having such a stupid issue with this bike. Instead, I peeled off the note from the bike’s seat and took it home. Alas, the note was REPLACED (this time with even more tape) by the time my husband walked by the same spot this morning.”
“Does anyone else think these people are INSANE? This is in front of 109-111 Berkeley. Is this what PS is turning into? Would these people prefer to see more cars than bikes? Or, are they saying they’d rather this person park his/her bike in front of a neighbor’s house instead of theirs? I don’t think that’s very neighborly at all.”
Regardless of what you think of the note, you have to admit that this is becoming a classic example of Brooklyn neighbor interaction – witness this note deposited, relatively recently, in the handlebar basket of a bike on Park Place:
Amidst rumors that the Pavilion Park Slope theater (on Prospect Park West) is closing, seven24 writes in the Park Slope Message Boards: “In 1996 the day the Pavilion opened, I began working the concession stand. Thru my time there I was grossed out on multiple occasions. ”
“The manager at the time demanded the popcorn left over at night be re-used by mixing it with fresh popcorn in the morning.”
“For some reason unknown to me, there were pigeons living in the stock room.”
“Ask yourself this: If you were the manager, and you found small holes bitten in to a sack of popcorn seeds, would you throw out the whole sack? The first time I met the exterminator I was glad when he left the theatre empty handed, until the next time he showed up and removed a garbage bag filled with dead rodents.”
“Believe me, there are worse things to worry about than small screens at the Pavilion.”
Is the Pavilion Park Slope movie theater closing? Read more in the Park Slope Message Boards
Before you drop $950,000 for that handyman’s special in Gowanus/G-Slope/BoCoCa East, you might want to consider the likelihood that Brooklyn’s hottest nabe may soon end up at the bottom of the Gowanus canal.
Alex Tingle’s GoogleMaps-flood data mashup lets you set different global warming sea levels and watch
as New York City — and Gowanus in particular — sinks beneath the waves. Pictured at right: the new Gowanus Bay after a 9m sea level rise.
quijibo writes in the Prospect Heights Message Boards:
the next “friends”ian hit tv series will be about…
a lesbian couple who adopt an ecuadorean orphan
who doublepark their strollers at the tea lounge
shop at the food co-op + back to the land
and there’s al the window washer guy
this one brooklyn native,
who fancies himself to be mucho mucho street
i mean like streeter than street
al employs a bunch of hispanic men to wash store windows
up and down 5th avenue
and they have these amazingly decorated bicycles
with huge handlebars
festooned with decoration –fulla bling
and wait. do they drink?
yeh. they drink
and they all go to total wine bar for drinks
*these fotos are from my friend’s flickr blog http://www.flickr.com/photos/davidbivins/sets/585137/
Not sure what this has to do with Stabbing Death in Prospect Park in the Prospect Heights Message Boards
Ziggly writes in the Park Slope Message Boards:
I am moving my family to Park Slope (near the Union street train station on 4th ave) in a month and was wondering what the best way to get from JFK to PS would be. I will have myself, wife and 15 month old toddler. We will have 4 large suitcases, 4 carry ons and a car seat. We will be arriving at 8am. I figure my options are…
1. Airtrain to Howard beach station and take the A train in, transfer to the F take that to 9th street/4th ave station and transfer to the R to get to Union street
2. Take Airtrain to Jamaica station, take the Long Island Railroad to Flatbush then take the R to Union street. Does anyone have experience taking a lot of luggage on the LIRR?
3. Car service or cab it. I am on a tight budget and was concerned about getting a cab during what I anticipate to be rush hour AM traffic.
…and wave ’em like you just don’t care: kagey_b’s most interesting photo.