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Expat Report: Why Brooklyn is not Minnesota

So, the Associated Press may have dubbed Brooklyn “the place to be”… Is Minnesota “the place to be from”?

There seems to be a disproportionately high number of Minnesota expats in the area, at least judging from the chatter on the Park Slope Message Board.

According to CHE, Brooklyn actutely lacks:

1. Gedney pickles
2. Summit
3. Cheese curds
4. $12 cases of Huber Bock
5. Vietnamese farmers selling thai basil bunches for $1
6. Isles cinnamon rolls
7. Canoe put-ins
8. Snow emergency parking
9. Food-coops with non-working memberhip
10. Cross-country ski trails
11. Punk kids on double-high bikes (hmm… Williamsburg?)
12. Abundant Ethiopian food
13. Wild rice soup
14. Radio K
15. Surdyk’s
16. Loons/mergansers/grebes
17. Swimming lakes

And apparently Brooklyn is OK without:
1. Seed art
2. Real mosquitoes
3. Katherine Lanpher (hmm… isn’t she in Manhattan??)

Minnesota’s the place to be from, you betcha: Park Slope Message Board

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Best of Park Slope


Red Horse Cafe, Brooklyn

Originally uploaded by 536.

Yavel’s list:

Best Loaf – Lopez Bakery – 5th ave bet 18 th and 19th St. The bread is very good and cheap. I always get the 7 grain. They make a nice loaf, but stay away from the pastry. The bread is baked fresh every day, but the other stuff tends to be stale. Haven’t tried the tamales yet.

Bakery – Two Little Red Hens – 8th Ave. They’re expensive, but so good.

Bodega/small grocer – La Dolce Vita – 7th Ave – Clean store and nice owner, also has a good beer selection

Toy Store – Toy Space on 7th ave around 13th – Nice selection of toys, if a bit overpriced. This place has saved me on a few occasions when I had to get a quick gift for a kid. There’s also a place on 5th ave, but I can’t remember the name.

Children’s Shoes – Windsor Shoes – Prospect Park West – The staff is very helpful and they have a good selection.

Pizza – Pino’s La Forchetta – 7th Ave – classic pizza joint

Coffee Shop – 6th ave and 12th St – Red Horse Cafe – good coffee and not crowded

Sandwich shop – Pollios – 5th Ave – Good hoagies and specialty foods. It has a nice, neighborhood feel.

More lists in the Park Slope Message Boards

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DumbWhore: “A new column of interest to Park Slopers”

We just received this Onion-esque parody of “SmartMom”, the Park Slope blogger-turned-Brooklyn Papers columnist:

“SmartMom” tells some interesting stories, and she’s done some great things for the blogging community in Park Slope… but she has a writing style that some people cannot read without physically cringing, judging from opinions on the Park Slope message board:

From SlipperySlope: “SlipperySlope does not like Smartmom. SlipperySlope does not understand why Smartmom feels the need to write in the 3rd person. SlipperySlope wants to know if Smartmom is married to ‘Jimmy’ from Seinfeld.”

From Rose: “I don’t know why I feel compelled to read her blog; it is so consistently irritating. It’s just the same damn thing over and over: She lives on 3rd Street. She is jealous of people with money. Her kids went to 321. She knows everyone in Park Slope. She is jealous of Jennifer Connelly because she has a big expensive house. She is jealous of Jonathan Safran Foer because he has a big expensive house. Did I mention that she lives on 3rd Street?”

From Drano: “If you read the column strictly as a parody of the stereotypical self-absorbed, over-educated Park Slope denizen it’s brilliant stuff. And I do feel that there’s at least a slight chance that the joke is on all of us.”

In SmartMom’s defense, the venerable Gersh Kuntzman (now editor of the Brooklyn Papers) posted this on the message board: “… she is an acquired taste that I urge you to acquire. She is a rare Brooklyn talent and I am so happy to be in the position of nurturing that talent (others would prefer to resent her, I guess).”

The author of DumbWhore says, “I just did made paper copies to scatter around the neighborhood. I had to do something. I couldn’t just do nothing.” We’re not supposed to divulge the author’s identity… but we can say that the resemblance to columns in The Onion is not coincidental.

LINK: SmartMom discussion on the Park Slope Message Board

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The Steam Room At NYSC


NYSC

Originally uploaded by Victor Lombardi.

steve writes on the Park Slope Message Board:

“One of the reasons I joined (Park Slope) NYSC was for the steam room, but a couple of guys trying to get it on in there tonight kind of ruined that for me. A friend of mine had a similar experience and dumped the place.”

“I didn’t mention it to the management but I did mention it to someone who works there, and he said there wasn’t much they could do but tell the manager, and he apologized, which was cool, but unnecessary.”

“Anyway, that’s my story, I’m putting it here to see what ya’ll say. Personally whatever the reasons I don’t think there is any excuse for doing jack in there besides steaming. It’s beyond rude.”

Work thru this on the Park Slope Message Board

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Miracle (Grill) on 7th


blurry ladies

Originally uploaded by irockiroll.

How many times has this NOT happened when it should have? KosherDave reports on Actual Customer Service, occurring at Miracle Grill on 7th Ave. in Park Slope, on the Park Slope Message Board: “… long story short, our waitress dropped a ramekin filled with catsup onto the floor next to our table, and we were both covered. We wear wearing white linen pants. It was messy.”

“The owner, however, proved to be the real miracle worker. He rushed us some club soda, lots of napkins and comp’ed our meal (obviously). He also said we should bring him the dry cleaning bills.”

“Fast forward to last week, I brought in the cleaning bills (11 bucks) and he asked how everything turned out. Our shirts were fine, so were her pants, mine still had some faint spots, but they were older pants and I did not think he needed to replace them or anything, they already did all they could and were very apologetic.”

“The owner said he was really sorry about the whole thing and as he was giving me the money for the dry cleaning, he also gave me a gift cert for dinner for two, plus cocktails.”

“Anyway, just wanted to send a shout out to that particular local business owner. He was really cool about something that could have really been a bitch of a situation. We’ll keep going back with service/ownership like that. Nice job!”

LINK: Miracle on 7th [Park Slope Message Board]

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I Did It!


Park Slope Food Coop

Originally uploaded by Mar and Brod.

Con:“I left the (Park Slope) Food Coop. Immediately after leaving, i felt afraid and guilty. Then a couple days later, elation set in. It’s like I’ve left a cult. In fact, I have.” (–sexylegs)

Pro:“I would conservatively estimate that I save a couple grand a year, probably more, shopping at the co-op … I’m not a political fanatic. In fact, I don’t even particularly care about the environment. I just like fancy food and good produce and am cheap.” (–linusvanpelt)

Eh: “I went to grad school so I did NOT have to work at a grocery store!” (–KosherDave)

Everybody else: Park Slope Message Boards

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Am I Invisible?

sexylegs writes on the Park Slope Message Board:

“I’m newly single and hope not to be single forever. When I’m in Manhattan, I get plenty of attention from men. Here in Park Slope, it is like I am invisible.”

“Or maybe it’s because the majority of the men here are white, and they are not interested in black women (ie me). As my username suggests, I have long, sexy legs. I’m also really cute. But sadly, also invisible….”

Read replies on the Park Slope Message Board

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Ranking of the 3 New Local Bars that Steve Hit Recently


farm 2 (Flatbush Farm)

Originally uploaded by jscandinaro.

Steve writes in the Park Slope Message Boards:

Just came back from having a quick drink with friends at Union Hall, and…I’m less than impressed. I mean, Floyd’s has been open for how many years, and it’s more or less the same. I like it well enough, good beers and the little burgers look good, but it’s just too similar.

Of the 3 new local bars I went to this weekend, I would rank them:

1. Flatbush Farm
2. Cherry Tree
3. Floyd’s 2

New bars in the Park Slope Message Boards

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No Bikes in Greenwood Cemetery??

Cars: Of course.
Bikes: No.

communitybuilder writes: “The no bikes rule in Green-Wood Cemetery is bizarre, nonsensical, and most of all, a real shame. Why can’t I go with my old Brookyn cousin by bike to visit his parents’ graves?”

“That was our plan a couple of summers ago, but we weren’t allowed. Green-Wood management didn’t think biking to the grave site was ‘compatible with the decorum’ of the cemetery. Rather, they preferred us to visit the cemetary in an exhaust-spewing, loud, broken down ’87 Toyota pick-up. Rolling up in that piece o crap vehicle, we were given carte blanche to drive anywhere we wanted on the grounds. Rolling up on bikes, we were treated like criminals.”

“I think this rule is so ridiculous that I actually wrote Green-Wood’s management a letter a few years ago urging them to change the rule. I hope other people might write them too. Their response to me was that they view bicycles ‘as recreational in nature.’ Try telling that to the 130,000 New Yorkers who now use bikes to commute to work at various times during the year…”

“I know it seems weird to some people to get exercised about not being able to ride a bike around a graveyard. But it’s actually a common thing in other cities. I’ve done bike rides through the old historic cemetaries in other big cities, and it’s fantastic…”

“As to this idea that Green-Wood is all about decorum… the cemetery was originally conceived as a recreational area as well as a place to bury the dead…”

Time to give back Greenwood to the biking public? More info in the Prospect Heights Message Boards

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A Plague O’ Palmetto Bugs in Park Slope

palmetto bug - actionpest.com.jpg

Brooklyn Summer is in full swing!! Yavel writes in the Park Slope Message Boards: “Has anyone else been plagued by these things lately? I’ve been seeing one or two every day for the past week. I guess they must love this hot and humid weather, but I’ve never been visited by so many of these things before. Wtf?”

In some parts of Brooklyn they are considered pets, according to Livetotravel.

Get info on glue traps, Lysol blowtorches, and leash laws for the American Cockroach in the Park Slope Message Boards

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Park Slope “When”


park slope, Brooklyn

Originally uploaded by mickey1.

Posted by frank garcia on the Park Slope Message Board:

i lived on 14 st bet 5 and 6 ave

i went to ps 51 and then to manuel training high school

i rember germains dept stop on 5 ave and 15 st

there were 3 bars on 9st 5ave

smittys
owned by a man called screamer smith

next to him was dinkys
owened by a retired cop from the 72 precent named eddy

next to him was the round town
at times they served free snacks

then there was a great stake bar called the dixie traven on 20st 5 ave owned by a man named toddo marino

as a young boy i also raised pigeons

hope to hear from some people that rember this

on the Park Slope Message Board

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“Ridiculous Note” on Berkeley Place

more-eggs-please writes in the Park Slope Message Boards:

“I was walking my dog along Berkeley Pl betwen 6th and 7th last night around 11 pm and came across the following ridiculous typed note taped to a bicycle seat. The bike was locked to a street cleaning sign next to the street:”

” ‘Please chain your bike to a different location,’ the note read in 18-point Times New Roman. ‘We’ve checked and we are liable if anyone trips over your biked and falls on our property. Thank you for your understanding.’ ”

“Is it just me or is this totally absurd? First of all, the bike was in no way obstructing anyone’s passage on the sidewalk in front of the two buildings it was straddling (which begs the question: whose property is this bike on, anyway?)”

“I was tempted to throw myself over the bike and scream for help and threaten to sue the owners of the building(s) since I felt they deserved such an inconvenient consequence for having such a stupid issue with this bike. Instead, I peeled off the note from the bike’s seat and took it home. Alas, the note was REPLACED (this time with even more tape) by the time my husband walked by the same spot this morning.”

“Does anyone else think these people are INSANE? This is in front of 109-111 Berkeley. Is this what PS is turning into? Would these people prefer to see more cars than bikes? Or, are they saying they’d rather this person park his/her bike in front of a neighbor’s house instead of theirs? I don’t think that’s very neighborly at all.”

Regardless of what you think of the note, you have to admit that this is becoming a classic example of Brooklyn neighbor interaction – witness this note deposited, relatively recently, in the handlebar basket of a bike on Park Place:

Agree to Disagree in the Park Slope Message Boards

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“The Avenue”


5th Avenue – Brooklyn

Originally uploaded by talker.

A liaison of The Fifth Street Boys writes in the Park Slope Message Boards:

“Back in the day, when I was kid, not only were there no restaurants on ‘The Avenue.’ There were none of the boutiques and niche-market stores that give it its current flavor.”

“There were no Starbucks (Plaza Drugs), there were no Barnes & Nobles (a parking lot for the hospital), there were no Sushi restaurants (Danny’s Candy Store and others)…there was nothing!”

“There were two Bohack markets and an A + P (Now Key Food and Dagostinos) and a few bodegas.”

“The absolute first restaurant on “The Avenue” was Szechuan Delight … (they) rented the site of Keiton Cleaners (sp?) after they had a fire. I remember people were shocked to see a Chinese restaurant on The Avenue and to be honest the atmosphere sucked. I liked the food, but the place still smelled like smoke when they opened.”

“The one thing there were lots of on The Avenue was bars. In no particular order, there was City Lights was on the corner of 1st and The Avenue; The Iron Horse on 2nd and The Avenue; Ryan’s on Garfield; Minsky’s on 3rd; The Coach between 1st and Garfield; Mooney’s between Carroll and President; The James between Union and Berkeley; The Gaslight on the corner of Union; and others that I can’t remember now.”

“As a rule, there was a bar on every corner and sometimes another one in between. The good ones like Ryans (now The Appletree grocery strore [which is NOT a bodega] ) opened at 8:00 a.m. for the old timers and didn’t close unil “last call” at 4:00 a.m.”

“And Ryan’s, like Farrell’s (which sadly used to be located on 9th Avenue in Windsor Terrace–a neighborhood with some balls–but somehow without having to move is now located on Prospect Park West in the South Slope), used to serve “taps” which were waxed paper quart containers that you could take outside and drink on the corner and shoot the shit with people as they walked by…and all the time enjoy a cold–well, luke warm–beer (I think it was Miller High Life on tap, oh well, you can’t have everything)!”

“So there you have it…The Avenue…back in the day…before there were stroller nazis, before there were panhandlers, before there was anything other than bars and the Fifth Street Boys and then the Savage Nomads and the Crazy Homicides out past 16th street…but we didn’t go there…not unless we had to…not unless we wanted to rumble.”

4 out of 5 former Brooklyn Gang Members prefer the Park Slope Message Boards

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Pavilion Movie Theater Going Condo?

UPDATE:Probably just a scurrilous rumor. Updates from Ben and WINNERBK suggest that there has been a change of ownership, but that the theater itself isn’t going anywhere. WINNERBK says: “I heard from a reliable source that the Pavilion Movie Theater is going to remain a movie theater and WON’T be converted to luxury condos. My sources tell me that there is a long term lease with the theater and that it will continue as a theater for the next 20 years.”

Kensingtonmom writes on the Park Slope Message Board: “Has anyone heard this rumor? I know Pavilion is not the greatest theater, but I like having a movie theater in the neighborhood. Do we need MORE luxury condos?”

Here’s a snippet from the e-mail (or PSP post?) in question: “For those of you who haven’t heard, the Pavillion Movie Theater, as of June 12, is under contract to be sold to a developer, One Liberty Properties, Inc, to be turned into a condo building. It’s not clear what can be done to prevent it at this point… I called my block association but they are divided because they think the theater makes it harder to park on our block and many would rather have a residential building there.”

Brooklynpotter says this would only make the parking on 15th St. worse than it is already. He says the Pavillion has been a theater of one sort or another since the 1940s, at least:”I have a pic of it from when the buses going by were electrified… my accountant’s secretary grew up here and she performed in talent shows there. and i hear from another friend who grew up here that the guy who used to own it brought all the day old candy over to the 14th street jewish center on sundays.”

As Carnivore points out, the closing of the Pavilion would leave BAM as the only remotely walkable theater in the neighborhood. Netflix, anyone?

Rumor control in the Park Slope Message Board

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ALERT! “Brooklyn Blog Fest” on Thursday at the Old Stone House

We have been a bit remiss in noting that THIS THURSDAY at 8 PM is “Brooklyn Blog Fest” at the Old Stone House in Park Slope. The creators of this site have been invited to spend a leisurely 2-4 minutes discussing the evolution of dailyheights.com, dailyslope.com and brooklynian.com (woohoo! 60 seconds per site!).

The Old Stone House is on Fifth Avenue between 3rd and 4th Streets. Check out full details of “Brooklyn Blog Fest” at the Old Stone House in Park Slope.

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How To Meet Single, Straight Women in Park Slope


Posted by:
Flexichick
Regular
Joined: 27 Apr 2006
Posts: 145

1. Go to the park on a weekend.
2. Sit on the hill near the baseball fields (in front of that house).
3. Bring a dog.
4. Be friendly. Say hi. Don’t stare all night and then leave.
5. Make sure you are approachable.
6. Of course, you can always post your picture here and let us check you out.

Hook Up: Park Slope Message Boards

Gathering at hotels or going on single vacations is one way. Instead of staying put in your apartments you stand more chance if you are on cruises or even rental cars.

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Prospect Park Is Not The Tour de France


DSC03261.jpg

Originally uploaded by groovylab.

Kensingtonmom writes in the Park Slope Message Boards:

“Prospect Park is not the training ground for the next Lance Armstrong.”

“I really think *some* of these over-outfitted bicyclists have to get a grip on reality and share the park road. They are one group of people who need to use it and not dominate it.”

“Today I was crossing the road with my stroller. I looked left and right before proceeding–all was clear. When I got to the center a pack of bicyclists came up over the hill (not in the bike lane) and then started cursing me for being in their way. ‘Watch where the f your going.’ ‘GET OUTTA MY WAY asshole.'”

“For God’s sakes… it is a public park and I looked both ways and was crossing the friggin road! Ugghh.”

Comment on this post in the Park Slope Message Boards

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That Stranger Ringing Doorbells Asking for $$/Claiming Emergency

chrislisa writes in the Park Slope Message Boards: “This is the second time in a month this guy has come to my home. First time was about a month ago, approx. 8pm. He rang my doorbell (I live on the ground floor of a brownstone on President Street).”

“I looked out the window and he introduced himself as a neighbor who was in a bind, his daughter had an asthma attack, had just taken her to the hospital and needed money to get her medication. Of course I knew this was bogus, so I didnt let him in or give him money.”

“Tonight, the same man came to my home, this time at 10:30, claiming there was an emergency a few doors down. my partner chased him away. we called the police to warn them about this guy.”

“He’s a white male, heavyset, wears eyeglasses (similar to old school cazals, big and thickisch) and had on a blue hooded sweatshirt (both times) I would say he’s in his 30’s. not sure of height. has anyone encountered this same situation?”

More sightings of “Emergency Guy with Old School Cazals” in Park Slope Message Boards

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Extreme Nastiness: Pavilion Edition

Amidst rumors that the Pavilion Park Slope theater (on Prospect Park West) is closing, seven24 writes in the Park Slope Message Boards: “In 1996 the day the Pavilion opened, I began working the concession stand. Thru my time there I was grossed out on multiple occasions. ”

“The manager at the time demanded the popcorn left over at night be re-used by mixing it with fresh popcorn in the morning.”

“For some reason unknown to me, there were pigeons living in the stock room.”

“Ask yourself this: If you were the manager, and you found small holes bitten in to a sack of popcorn seeds, would you throw out the whole sack? The first time I met the exterminator I was glad when he left the theatre empty handed, until the next time he showed up and removed a garbage bag filled with dead rodents.”

“Believe me, there are worse things to worry about than small screens at the Pavilion.”

Is the Pavilion Park Slope movie theater closing? Read more in the Park Slope Message Boards

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When Bees Attack: Sotto Voce Edition

Nate of the Apiary writes: “Hello, I saw a swarm of angry bees attack Sotto Voce the other day. I have a silly photo narrative of the events up. Thought you would like it.”

Nate narrates: “Thousands of angry and deadly bees attack the restaurant for no good reason. Outdoor patrons scramble for cover. Gawkers flock to every corner of the block to get a close (but not too close) look at the madness…” More on The Apiary

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What’s Up With the Planes? Answer: FLEET WEEK


Blue Angels in a Blue Sky

Originally uploaded by Bob Reck.

Ah, that ol’ September 11 feeling, right on 7th Avenue!

steve writes in the Park Slope Message Boards: “has anyone else heard the planes flying low overhead? … I’ve only heard them, not seen them, 2x… and this morning I was sure something was going to crash.

Flexichick adds: “I heard them, and got the Sept. 11th ‘here we go again’ feeling. Immediately followed by ‘f*** it. I hope I die quickly’ and then back to sleep.”

Answers to all your questions in the Park Slope Message Boards

Keeping up with las vegas hotels is indeed tough than hotels anywhere else in the world, whether it is an orlando hotel or a san francisco hotel.

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Yes, But Their Pad Thai Contains 30% Post-Consumer Recycled Material

Drano writes on the frequently-discussed topic of excessive flyering in the Park Slope Message Boards:

“Just wanted to thank beet for leaving at least 6 menus on the stoop of every single building on PPW the other day. Sushi Master, you also done good. Nice technique, too – not secured or stuck in the door or anything, but just tossed out in the open like so much litter.”

“I’m sure I’ll be seeing those things blowing around for months. Just so you know, I got home pretty early yesterday and recycled the ones you left around our entryway instantly – nobody else even saw them.”

“I know it’s not the crime of the century, but beet really took the mildly annoying practice of menu/flyer dumping to the next level.”

Out the offenders in the Park Slope Message Boards

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Have You Seen This Guy?

… and do you think what he is doing is ethical?

jake_greene-stay-free-23frontcover.jpg

Image source: Stay Free! Magazine

Jake Greene is a professional panhandler and a fixture on Berkeley & 7th. Guestpks writes in the Park Slope Message Boards: “He seems to be friends with everyone! So many people stop by to chat with him. I wonder…does he really need to be asking for money?”

Well, THAT’S an innocent question, guaranteed not to cause a furor in the Park Slope Message Boards.

A little background: escap says the guy has been a fixture for decades: “I went to elementary school in Park Slope and that guy has been there since then (early 1980s), at least.” Over at Tremble they say that he was wrongly arrested a few years ago and received a six-figure settl/ement from the city – one that he’s already blown on “taffy and root beer popsicles, and now he’s back on the corner…”

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Parking Spot Squat on 7th

What are car owners getting away with in Park Slope?

Monthly rent for a 750-sq-ft apartment in Park Slope: $2500
Hourly “rent” for a 250-sq-ft metered parking space: 25 cents

parkingsquat3.0.jpg

Did anyone see this or talk to these people? This was reported on Naparstek.com a few days ago:

“On Saturday, a group of Livable Streets advocates staged a ‘parking squat’ in Park Slope, Brooklyn (see QuickTime video here). Organizers David Alquist, Jeff Prant and Geoff Zink showed up in front of the Connecticut Muffin shop on 7th Avenue and 1st Street at 9:00 am, dropped quarters in two parking meters, unfolded lawn chairs and proceeded to hang out, drink coffee, read the paper and chat with friends, neighbors and passersby in street space that would typically be occupied by two lifeless automobiles.”

“A parking squat challenges the idea that the vast majority of a crowded city’s street space–its public space–is best used for the storage and movement of private automobiles. Space is one of New York City’s most precious and valued commodities. The sidewalks of Park Slope’s shopping avenues are narrow and on nice weekends they are jam-packed. Yet, while pedestrians hauling strollers and shopping carts jostle up against one another on tiny strips of sidewalk, single-passenger vehicles frolic across vast swaths of asphalt.”

“And while some people in this neighborhood pay as much as $2,500 per month to rent an apartment the size of a parking spot, renting an actual parking spot costs a mere 25 cents per hour.”

Is it really only a quarter?? If so, that’s maybe $3 a day (assuming meters are “read” only 12 hours per day) and $90 a month. At that rate, you could rent a 1,000-square foot apartment for $360 a month.

Read more here: Naparstek.com: Parking it in the Slope

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The “Fantastical” Drawings of Bruce Zeines

At Gallery 64 (64 St. Marks Ave, Park Slope) from May 20 – June 24: “Mr. Zeines’ work has been compared in spirit to William Blake with references to Max Ernst and Hieronymus Bosch. His intensely cross-hatched drawings are driven by the subconscious, drawing the viewer into the artist’s deep personal world.”

The show will open with a wine reception on Saturday, May 20 from 5 pm – 8 pm.

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How Many Thai Restaurants Can One Neighborhood Sustain?

Updates:

Mango Thai has not closed down, but the garlic seitan isn’t as good as it used to be, according to 8thandprez.

Beet is (still) not the suck.

Carnivore writes: “despite the multitude of Thai places in the area, they’re all quite deficient in one way or another. I’d trade every single one of them in for one Sripathai!!!

All this and more in the Park Slope Message Board